by Brad Rose 

The Miami real estate market is so hot, it’s melting the North Pole. Naturally, you can’t tell who’s innocent and who’s guilty just by looking at a courthouse. My doctor says I’m not taking enough drugs, but I told him that in a flight simulator, a bird doesn’t need any wings. Luckily, after my latest bank robbery I had enough money left over to have my fortune read by Madame Pommade. She took one look at my greasy lifeline and said that if I eat my ice cream while standing up, it won’t have any calories. Hey, it’s Paris fashion week, again. Yeah, I know what you mean. Don’t you just love the emperor’s new outfit? I’m telling you, that guy dresses sharper than a guillotine. He’s the bomb. Some people say he doesn’t have much on, but in my opinion, he’s always dressed to kill.