She was older,
the woman I loved.
I wore my suspenders
low to hold
my boyhood hidden.
I followed her.
“Come”, she said,
“Let us walk through
the streets and note
the qualities of people.”
“What sport is that?,”
I asked – football fresh,
fallen too short for baskets,
breathless from biking,
wild boy me.
“O, don’t you know,”
chided she.
“You child, you – no Anthony!
But you can call me
Cleopatra.”
I brought her tulips
in the winter.
She told me “No!
Flowers have a season.
These are Spring.”
All excitement, I
entered her life.
Falling over to embrace
her rules, I gave
her winter. A tangerine.
She taught me
pain is good.
Startled, I cried.
I did not know
tears were clean.
But tears were no balm
I could give her.
She was waterproofed
and walked hatless
in the rain.
I’d spin her tight-twirled.
“Stop, fool,” she’d howl, anger
spitting from her tangled hair, her brow.
“Boy, don’t you know?
Know strength is delicate!”
And when my arms were lost
tender around her,
she would cry, “hold me, hold me,
O, man yourself, boy”, she’d say,
“or I will fly away!”
And so she did one day.
She broke the earth
with age or rage, I guess,
and my heart. It was winter.
The earth was cold.
I brought flowers
to her grave.
I would have brought
her roses, but
tulips were all I had.