Print neatly or not at all

Name: My name is Legion.
Address: That which cannot be found.
Age: Time is relative to motion.
Sex: Inexorable.
Education: St Gary’s School for the Marred.
Previous employment: Carrier of water,
hewer of stone. Keeper in a dark tower.
Qualifications: I am that I am.
References: Great are the many, for they
shall be few. As it has been written.
Interests: Going plumb loco. Charitable
intentions. Saving kittens.
Additional information: I take long walks
in the rain. I have more tattoos than teeth.
I live in a car. The hour is wasting.